Sonia Úbeda – Embrace and Lead

How to get more Clarity in what you want

Summer is a time when, due to the free time that vacations give us, we take the opportunity to recapitulate and reflect, or to become aware of what is going well, or not so well, in our lives.

If you have taken advantage of your vacation, or if you still have it ahead of you, to stop and rest, it is most likely that you have been able to get in touch  with yourself and with your needs more easily.

This way  you will have created a space to become aware of what no longer serves you,  to let go of what you no longer need and to make one decision or another in some aspect of your life that you feel is stagnant or needs a change of direction.

To redirect what you need, you need to have CLARITY. Whether in your work, in your life as a couple, in your finances, in your health… and this is not always easy.

There are times when everything is clear in our lives: friends, family, career… we have a sense of clarity and direction consistent with who we are and what we want.

And there are other times when we don’t see things so clearly.

We feel confused and we don’t know exactly why. And even if we know why,  we don’t have enough mental CLARITY to take the next step.

And what happens when we don’t have that Clarity we need?

Here I describe 4 highly valuable strategies to go towards it.

But first let’s define what CLARITY is.

 “Clarity is not necessarily knowing  what you want, if not, have no obstacles”, quote from T. Harv Eker.

And according to Wikipedia it is “ Abundance of Light”. “As the blinds were raised, the light of day flooded the room.” This definition comes to say the same thing.

It could be that you are in that room and you still don’t know what action you are going to take inside it: take clothes from the closet, take a nap, read a book… but you can do what you want, when you want, because you have light  to do so, and nothing prevents you.

The opposite of not having clarity is having darkness, not being able to see.

Even if you’re in the room and you know what you want to do: read, take a nap or get clothes out of the closet, you’re not going to  be able to do because you don’t have clarity and you don’t know the steps to take to get to the bed, the wardrobe or the bedside table where the book is. You would be blind. You have obstacles to overcome to do what you want.

As soon as we unlock obstacles, we leave the darkness behind. And the Light comes.

The next step is already given. We don’t have to force ourselves to think about what we have to do next, or what we really want.

Your body and mind are ready to take the next step. And they will give it, with hardly any effort.

It also happens to us that we get overwhelmed by having to clearly know what the great direction is, when the important thing is give ourselves the luxury of NOT having to know everything already.

Achieving clarity is  a PROCESS.  Don’t force yourself to be clear. Love the process.

Here are four highly valuable strategies you can incorporate as needed to develop your Conscious Leadership:

1.- Recognize that you DON’T KNOW.

If you are a  very rational and you don’t stop thinking about a topic to clarify yourself, this strategy can go very well for you.

Acknowledging and telling yourself, in all humility,  “I don’t know”, frees you enormously at all levels.

Repeat this phrase several times a day, and write it on a post it to have it visible wherever you want:

“I don’t know and it’s okay not to know right now. I trust that the answer will be given to me at the time and in the form  adequate”

These words are enormously powerful and help you let go of any resistance or fear of “not knowing.”

Life is always smarter than us, even if we find it hard to believe.

It brings us everything we need to experience in every moment of our lives to learn what we have to learn.

With these words we are cultivating Detachment, the  Patience and Trust. Three great qualities of the  Conscious Leader.

The previous affirmation together with the practice of Yoga and Meditation are key to being connected with yourself and with the source of inner wisdom that will reveal to you step by step what you have to do.

2.- Meditate on your emotions:

The lack of clarity can be reflected on an emotional level in feeling different emotions: fear, worry,  anger, anxiety…

Learn to Meditate on Emotions.

Meditating on emotions is allowing them to express themselves in your physical body. Emotions are simply a physiological reaction of the body to a stimulus, internal or external.

If you learn to feel them as they come, without suppressing them, without avoiding them, you are learning to listen to them. During the process of meditating with the emotions, while listening to them, you can come to know information that was buried at an unconscious level. That is, you can let them “talk” to you and give you the information about why they are there. It is information that rises to the surface of consciousness.

This is part of cultivating your wisdom.

The more we practice meditation on emotions, the more we will realize what is happening to us, our unconscious emotional blocks and why they are there.

3.- Ask yourself the following Powerful questions:

  1. What is the most important decision I have to make at this moment in my life?
  2. How would I act if I owned my life and wanted the highest good for myself? everyone?
  3. What resources (people, techniques, books, meditations…) do I have available now or can I get now to have more clarity?
  4. Do I really want to have clarity on ……. ?

This last question is key to knowing if your body, your mind and your soul are prepared to be clear about a specific matter. If you put energy and attention into getting that clarity and you don’t get it, you probably aren’t ready for it yet. In this case, release the need for clarity and cultivate presence, patience, and trust, as indicated in point 1.

4.- Take Action:

Act, try, contrast and decide later:

Acting is one of the remedies against stagnation and lack of clarity. To act means to take action, to move, to take responsibility. Although we are not clear about what exactly, take the first step towards where your instinct takes you. The body is the greatest source of wisdom you have, so try to listen to it.


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